he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
