terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize