I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
