you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
