Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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