Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
