he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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