OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
