It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize