The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
