he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
