my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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