just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They took my balls.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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