Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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