hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
