We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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