im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I AM VODKA MAN
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize