Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
