: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
