This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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