only if we run a train.
done.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
