i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize