You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
