So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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