so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
