you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
