They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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