I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
