We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
