I think I died a long time ago.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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