I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
