You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
