hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize