all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
