how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize