I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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