she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
