I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
