ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
