Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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