You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
