i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
