Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
