I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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