How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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