One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
