Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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