Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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