Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
