It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Damn victory sex feels great
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
