I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
