She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize