I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
