i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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