Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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