Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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