Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
