it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
