Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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