I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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