How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
